Veterans

OLD WOODS 5 - 1 Bealonians

Old Woods Veterans remained on trajectory to retain the Old Boys Cup with an impressive 5-1 semi-final demolition of Bealonians at South Over.

 

Woods started this game brightly and looked dangerous from the outset with Nobby Sharie and Paul Atkin looking to get an early goal. Woods would have to wait around 25 minutes to strike and when they did it was Sharie who drew first blood. Joe Henry knocked a ball out to Brendan O’Shea who fed Sharie and he calmly slipped the ball under the keeper to make it 1-0 to the Woods.  

 

Woods never looked like conceding in the first half with Chris Grey in goal and Tom Fothergill, Michael Jays, Des O’Connor and Brett Cahill in front of him although injury to Fothergill meant he was replaced by Ciro Cancello towards the end of the first half.

 

In control of the match the half time whistle blew and it must have been a relief for Beals who were under the cosh for much of the first half. Woods started the second half well and were soon two goals ahead via an excellent scissor kick from Henry from a Barry Greenstreet cross – it flew in to the top corner leaving the keeper no chance. It was most Kellyesque in style.

 

Woods must have thought they had the game won now and switched off to concede a goal against the run of play. A ball was crossed from the Bealonian left to the far post to leave their unmarked striker the simple task of putting the ball in the empty net.

 

Still less than halfway through the half Woods restored their two goal cushion. Mark Lomax played in Atkin who was manhandled to the ground leaving the referee, who had an excellent game, no option but to point to the spot. In the absence of Sean Hussey O’Shea stepped up and converted the spot kick to make it 3-1.

 

Following this Atkin was replaced up top by Tim Perkins. With 10 minutes to go Henry scored his second of the match after heading in a Greenstreet corner and moments later he was denied a hatrick by an excellent tip over the bar from the keeper following a 25 yard dipping volley.

 

O’Connor made Woods final substitution as Rob Miller replaced Greenstreet. With minutes remaining Perkins completed the rout when he slammed home Woods fifth goal from 10 yards out.

 

So the Vets will face either Aloysians or Lyonians in the Final at Southover on Sunday 11 April – if they put in another performance like this then surely they will win. It was nice to see a few supporters at the game including Chairmen past and present, Jerry Davis and David Goldring as well as a recuperating Patrick Henry whose presence must have spurred his brother on to turn in a man of the match performance!

 

Team: Grey, Fothergill (Cancello), Jays, O’Connor, Cahill, O’Shea, Lomax, J Henry, Greenstreet (Miller), Sharie, Atkin (Perkins)

 

Scorers: Sharie, Henry 2, O’Shea, Perkins

By Mick Kelly

Winchmore Hill over 40s 3 - 2 OLD WOODS over 40s

I really love it when real life proves weirder than scientific theory and such stuff. Years and years ago I remember reading about a bunch of researchers in biomechanics studying why the cheetah runs so quickly. The conclusion being drawn was that  the cheetah's supple spine was generating a not insignificant amount of the animals speed. Flushed with excitement, they drew up computer generated models and the like in the hope of applying their findings to other areas. Just before publication however, a junior researcher found a flaw in the science when he pointed out that, according to their model, you could cut all the cheetahs legs off and its back would still be capable of doing around 30 miles per hour!

 

Now I don't know why, but that quirky thought revisited me as I watched our new signing Ernie Bentley running with the ball during the course of our semi-final on Saturday. More panther than cheetah, he still looked in absolutely tip-top condition as, legs and arms pumping, body beautifully balanced, he seemed to positively glide across the turf.Except that he wasn't actually going that fast. He just looked fast.

"Go on, take him on!" I urged from the sidelines as Ernie faced up to their short, fat full back. "Why won't he take him on?" I muttered.  "He is taking him on" mumbled Derek Lamb beside me as he glanced up from his book. "Oh"."He can't take him; you watch, he'll have to check back in a minute" said Derek, turning his page. And what do you know, the white boots turned, the defender smirked, the attack petered out. Ernie looked quietly impassive. No scientist could have explained this one. But how lucky was that TV producer who saw Ernie run at a young age and dreamt up the slow-motion sequences that were to figure so prominently in the 'Six Million Dollar Man' series! The only clue to this mystery was provided later on in the Kings Head as we watched Ernie trying desperately to re-fuel on slimline dry ginger ale instead of the more widely recognised strong continental lager. Oh well, at least he scored.

Hopefully he might even score for our team next season. Catch my drift.....

 

But this wasn't the tale of one man acting on his own; oh no; as every straight man needs his clown. Cast in the unfortunate role of Eric on this occasion was our other newcomer, Andy Jacobs; the self-styled Welsh Wing Wizard! (Ok, I might have made that bit up).Bless his heart! He started poorly and it went downhill from there, but what, oh what, was he thinking when, with the Woods leading 1-0, the goalkeeper and three man defence playing majestically and half-time approaching, he picked up the ball in the opposition half, turned and started dribbling back towards his own goal. As he cut our hitherto impregnable defence to ribbons, another mental image loomed large in my mind...the image of the pram in 'The Untouchables' as it slowly careers down those steps, disaster awaiting as it bounces out of control... we all shouted  "Nooooooo" as he shaped up to play the inevitable deadly back pass, straight to their forward - their best forward - the one we had all been talking about in the changing room - the one we said definitely not to give any chance to - the one who used to play for Marseille in the French First Division- yeah, that one.....So that was one-all then.

 

I actually looked up 'Jacobean Folly' on Google and despite there being 5,020 results in the UK alone, not one of them could come close to explaining what we had just seen. There was a very interesting link to Bolsover Castle in Derbyshire, mind. Perhaps on Youtube...?

 

1-1 at half time quickly became 1-3 early in the second half due mainly to some sloppy defending at a couple of corners. The defence were still playing fantastically, mind. Chris Grey was confidence personified (was he ever not!!), Sony Bravia was back to his 1080 best while Tim, freed from the pressure of familial support, tided up impeccably.

 

In midfield, Barry got his customary knock but was anchoring things nicely, Rob Miller was steadily becoming more influential while Ray Langley hadn't put together such a string of respectable performances since shorts didn't quite cover your hamstrings.

 

Up front Nobby's feet were working hard, although not as hard as his tongue, while poor old Atko - whose goals had carried us through this far - was having a quiet one. It was time for a change...

 

Forgetting completely about the 'curse of the star of the previous reports' skipper Martin pitched Joe Henry up front. If we were to salvage anything from this game then Joe was the man to do it. Enjoying a splendid game already, we sat back ready to enjoy the fireworks, as, with fifteen minutes to go, Joe got ready to strike.

Less than five minutes later our leggy hero was being escorted off the field with the bewildered look of an Irish farmer driving his tractor who had just come to a fork in the road. Turned out to be their goalkeeper who did the striking, as, in an almost comical turn of events, he set about Joe after mistakenly blaming him for taking his legs from under him. The referee - who, it must be said, hardly covered himself in glory - compounded matters by dismissing both goalkeeper and the unfortunate Joe.

Perhaps galvanised by this injustice, the Woods pulled a goal back. 2-3.

 

Then the moment arrived. We could sense the poetry, the irony of it as, in the very last minute, our fallen hero Andy Jacobs cut inside first one, then a second, and prepared to shoot with his favoured left foot. Sadly the ball took off, soared over the crossbar, and was still heading north when the final whistle blew. (Apparently it was later recovered from some castle place just outside Derby.)

 

We were out. Our marvellous run had come to an end. To cap it all, it started to snow...Oh Eric, Oh Ernie; Bring me bloomin' sunshine indeed!!

 

Thanks lads, all of you. See you next season.

 

Glenn

 

Team; Chris Grey, Joe Henry, Mike Jays, Tim Ross, Ernie Bentley, Ray Langley, Barry Greenstreet, Rob Miller, Andy Jacobs, Norman Sharie, Paul Atkin, Derek Lamb.

 

 

Also in squad and important contributors this season; Mark Lomax, Tom Fothergill, Brett Cahill, Andy Stacey, Dom Drodz, David Goldring.

By Mick Kelly

EBOGs 1 - 4 OLD WOODS

 

Old Woods Veterans team continued their defence of the Old Boys Cup with an impressive 4-1 Quarter Final win against East Barnet Old Grammarians at Alan Drive in Barnet.

 

For the first 10 minutes of this encounter Woods were under some intense pressure as EBOGs looked to take an early advantage – Chris Grey, who is carrying a knock, was called upon to make a couple of saves one of which was a particularly good stop with his feet.

 

Woods soaked up this pressure well and about half way through the half began to find their feet with some good through balls to Sean Hussey, also carrying a knock, and Paul Atkin up top. Joe Henry and Mark Lomax in Centre Mid were working hard and after about 30 minutes Lomax found Atkin on the right who squared to Hussey and he saw his goal bound effort heading for the corner of the goal only for the keeper to stick out an instinctive leg and send the ball wide.

 

With 10 minutes remaining in the half skipper, Des O'Connor, replaced and under the weather Mike Jays and Ciro Cancello. Henry dropped into the centre of defence and Barry Greenstreet went to centre midfield. With about 5 minutes left in the half Woods were one goal to the good – Nobby Sharie put Hussey through who unselfishly squared to Atkin who had a the simple task to steer the ball home. 1 – 0 Woods!

 

With seconds in the half remaining Hussey could have extended the lead but he saw his instinctive shot form 6 yards go high and wide.

 

Following a rousing halftime team talk from O'Connor Woods were pegged back early in the second half. An uncharacteristic mistake from Grey let in the EBOG left winger who passed to their centre forward to stick the ball into the empty net. 1-1

 

Woods continued to take the game to EBOGs with through balls to the strikers who were sometimes wrongly called offside. On 60 minutes Woods one goal was restored. Following a corner Sharie's shot was saved by the EBOG keeper only for him to volley the loose ball into the net. 2-1 Woods!

 

Playing good football Woods looked for another goal to kill the game off and it soon came. Brett Cahill sent a cross field ball to Hussey who broke the offside trap and squared for Atkin to score a carbon copy of his first goal. 3-1 Woods!

 

The back four were playing well and the two goal cushion took the pressure off, this allowed Tom Fothergill to make a dizzying run into the EBOG half only to be fouled outside the box. Not to be outdone Rob Miller made a similar run down the Woods left making it in to the box only to be fouled – Penalty (Miller always wins penalties!)! Hussey stepped up to take the kick – he sent the keeper the wrong way only to see the ball hit the outside of the post and go wide!

 

There were two minutes left on the clock when Woods put the icing on the cake. Greenstreet released Sharie through the middle and he coolly slotted home to make it 4-1.

 

The final whistle blew shortly after this – in what was a good victory. Woods will play either Bealonians or Old Finchleians in the Semi Final.

 

Team: Grey, Fothergill, O'Connor. Jays (Miller), Cancello (Cahill), Sharie, J Henry, M Lomax, Greenstreet, Atkin, Hussey, D. Goldring

 

Scorers: P Atkin 2, N Sharie 2

By Mick Kelly

OLD WOODS over 40's 1 - 1 Bealonians over 40's (AET) Woods win 5-4 on penalties

Never before in the history of the Old Woodhouseians can two such sets of legs been afforded space in the same dressing room. We can only be grateful that Nobby had a hair appointment in Brighton, Chris Grey had injured himself opening his daughter's Maclaren buggy and Andy Jacobs had a 24 hour calf strain.

 

And still it wasn't enough. To enable us to squeeze the bare eleven into the same changing room Dave Goldring dutifully took himself off to play ninety minutes for the fourth eleven much in the manner of Oates leaving Scott's tent in the Antarctic. Sadly, history will note that Dave was to reappear later in the clubhouse that evening. 

 

Paul Atkin and Derek Lamb turned up late, affording the opportunity for some of the wiser heads to vacate the changing room muttering something about "putting up the nets" or some such mumbo jumbo.

 

For the rest of us, we could only sit in wonder - or 'Shock and Awe' as General Stormin' Norman might have gasped - as both Joe Henry and Barry Greenstreet proceeded to strip off and don the gold and black of the Old Woodhouseians Football Club. At the same flipping time!!!

 

Two pairs of legs whose knees were complete strangers with one another were unveiled. Surely those limbs are meant to be parellel, we wondered? How is it possible that they could take a person's weight, we asked ourselves? How do they know which foot to put which boot on, we pondered? And just who is that small child that seems to be sheltering between Barry's legs??

 

But stop right there people. Hold your bandy horses! Because those legs turned out to be The Legs Of Heroes.Those legs laughed last. And longest. Even if a little lopsidedly.

 

The mood in the dressing was morbid. Goalkeeper Chris Grey's nine and a half remaining fingers were unfit for duty. Woe was us! Was it even worth changing?....

Step forward Leggy Hero Number One as Joe grasped the gloves and put the multicoloured shirt on, then saddled up and rode out to face the foe. (On a pretty much invisible horse, mind.) He proceeded to play one of those "when the going gets tough.." games to repell Old Bealonians with a commanding display that included a stunning save as, in the stormy conditions, the ball changed direction in mid-flight. Truly, we said, in hushed tones, this man was a son of John Wayne.

 

Playing Captain Darling to Joe's General Melchiott, Slightly Skinnier Leggy Hero Number Two then took centre stage, as, inspired by his son Callum's exhortations of "Come on dad, you're useless. I'm better than you!" he responded by digging deep into the old memory bank and producing a veritable string of high, lofted passes - well, balls really - that each took several minutes to demonstate gravity's enduring power over wind, thus ushering us relentlessly through full time and on to extra time and penalties.

Sorry? The match, you say?? Ummm. How can I put it?? Right, listen; you've all been subjected to watching an Audley Harrison boxing match haven't you? Well it wasn't as good as that. But there is something in that nonetheless - think Audley Harrison fight, but not in a ring; in a big muddy field, with even more space available to not even attempt to throw a telling punch in. That was the match all right. Even the supporting bout of Andy Stacey versus their centre forward was rather better viewing, if a bit of a mismatch. 

 

In fairness, there were some valliant performances by our lads. The three man defence certainly displayed grit, courage and no little skill, particularly Mike Jays who stood out like an oversized flat-screened television in a council house lounge. Ray Langley, after a slow start, injected pace and urgency just when it was needed, and Derek Lamb filled in manfully despite being 58 and no longer in possession of all his faculties.Andy Stacey was up and down in a number of ways all game long.

 

.....And so it came to penalties.... Five brave hands were raised; Both Leggies, Rob Miller, Tom Fothergill and the slug that was Paul Atkins (an erstwhile earlier hero in Round 2). LHNO took the first and bent it into the corner before resuming his place in goal where he got a good hand to their first two efforts. LHNT, Tom, Rob and Atko all ignored skipper Martin's advice and just scored anyway. It came down to their fullback to tie the scores at five all and ruin Mark Lomax's day by forcing him to take a sixth, but, unnerved by Joe's gallant efforts in what was presumably his favoured corner, he put it horribly wide. The sun didn't exactly appear at this moment, but hey, we were in the quarter finals.

 

There was nothing more to do than for Joe and Barry to put on their stretch jeans and head off west for a well deserved trip back to their families.

To all those teams still in the competition: fancy your chances? Think you can have us?? The hell you can!!

 

El Capitano

 

Squad:  Joe Wayne, Tom Fothergill, Sony Bravia, Tim Ross, Ray Langley, Strictly-Come-Stacey, The sixth man, Derek Lamb, Callum's Dad, Rob Miller, Paul Atkin, Glenn Martin.

 

Scorer: Atkin

 

 

 

 

By Mick Kelly

OLD WOODS 3 - 0 Albanian

Old Woodhouseains Veterans began their defence of the Old Boys Cup away to local rivals, Albanian – well actually it was at home as both teams play their home games at Southover.

 

Woods knew that this would be a tough match as Albanian are holders of the LOB Jack Perry Cup. As expected the game got off to a cagey start with both teams probing for an opening Joe Henry and Mark Lomax were linking well together in centre midfield and trying to get Nobby Sharie and Brendan O’Shea involved on the wings whenever they could. With little between the teams in the first 25-30 minutes Old Woods won a penalty when Henry was hacked down in the corner of the box – he was so delighted with himself that he punched the air with glee, this game obviously meant a lot to him!

 

Sean Hussey, to the surprise of some of the spectators, picked up the ball to take the penalty kick. They shouldn’t have worried as he coolly slotted the ball into the bottom right hand corner and also sent the keeper the wrong way – 1-0 to the Woods!

 

The game was still finely balanced at 1-0 as Albanian pushed for an equaliser but the back four of Tom Fothergill, Des O’Connor, Mike Jays and Ciro Cancello stood resolute in front of Chris Grey in goal. On fourty minutes there was some panic in the Woods ranks as Grey took a knock in goal and there were some angry words exchanged – but he was OK and Woods saw out the last 5 minutes of the half to lead 1-0 at half time.

 

There were some strong words of encourage at halftime to keep playing the way the Woods were and O’Connor admitted that he was probably having to do the least of everyone! A strange thing also happened at half time as the referee said to Chairman Dave that if there were any “serious” offences that the player would be sin-binned. None of us had ever heard of this in a football match before – perhaps the ref doesn’t like having to write reports for bookings or sending offs?!

 

Nonetheless the two teams returned to the field of play for the second half. About ten minutes in and Woods were 2-0 up. Paul Atkin played the ball out to the left for Hussey who kept possession and laid it to Lomax on the edge of the box who stroked it in the path of O’Shea for him to bend the ball into the bottom right hand corner – the watching Woods fans went wild!

 

For the next 25 minutes or so the game got a bit scrappy with some “tasty” challenges going in from both teams and lots of whinging from some of the old stagers. O’Shea was sin-binned for a late tackle on Albanians angry number 4 who later stamped on Henry and escaped punishment. Henry also got to spend five minutes in the bin for a deliberate handball.

 

With 10 minutes remaining Woods secured the victory after the Albanian keeper foolishly picked up a back-pass. So from about 7 yards out Hussey touched the ball to O’Shea who slammed the ball home to make it 3-0 to the Woods.

 

With 5 minutes to go Derek Lamb replaced the limping O’Shea and as the final whistle blew Hussey was brought down in the box for what could have penalty. As the players left the pitch the jovial ref commented that they had “nearly ruined his Sunday morning” which I think was a reference to the level of moaning from players in both teams. But none of this bickering was on display in the bar afterwards as the players sank a few pints with each other. Woods played well in this game against a strong Albanian Veterans team – with Grey hardly needing to make a save.

 

The Vets now face East Barnet Old Grammarians in the last 8 on Sunday 29 November as they hope to retain the Old Boys Cup – a team they beat on penalties in the semi-final of the same competition last season.

 

Team: Grey, Fothergill, Jays, O’Connor, Cancello, Sharie, J Henry, Lomax, O’Shea, Atkin, Hussey (Subs: Hussey, Cahill)

 

Scorers: Hussey, O’Shea 2

By Mick Kelly

OLD WOODS 6 - 0 Alexandra Park

It was entirely appropriate as several - albeit white - pumpkin shaped bodies took to the pitch on Halloween to face Alexandra Park in the Over 40's Cup. White, mostly, except for the perma-tanned Cahill who was fortunate enough not to have to change before an evening's Trick or Treating. Andy Jacobs arrived late from deepest, darkest Wales but at least had the good grace to take his mask off before taking to the pitch. Or did he?
We lined up in an attack minded 3-5-2 formation, brains befuddled by skipper Martin's witches brew of a team talk and then we set about them.
Within minutes, it became apparent that Alexandra Park didn't stand an earthly, as a spirited opening by our boys had them chasing shadows.
Leading 3-0 at half time, they gave up the ghost in the second half, and it was left to us to make our own entertainment. Sure Mark Lomax was weaving his magic in the centre of midfield, ably supported by the rabid Stacey, and the back three had their attack completely bewitched, but all eyes were on the front two as a horror story was unfolding before our very eyes. The majestic, princely, Atkins was giving a lesson in forward play to the skeleton that was a shadow of the man formerly known as Norman Sharie.
Ye gods! It was the Scorcerer versus Apprentice. Even worse, it was as unequal a battle as had Neville Longbottom thrown down the gauntlet to Albus Dumbledore. Goals rained in from the magic feet of Atko; his third, a delightful chip spookily reminiscent of Davor Suker in his prime, while poor Norman huffed and puffed as he tried to recreate past wonders. He was definitely having a bad spell!
Their goal seemed earily inaccesible to Norman as he made contact with most of the wooden bits surrounding it, but then, with ten minutes left, redemption beckoned as he attempted to follow up his own header as it rebounded off the bar. The wind dropped, a ghostly silence ensued as birds stopped singing in the trees; time stood quite still as he lifted his right boot and prepared to transform shot into goal. But wait,....what was that???.... a sudden blur ...a dark shadow,...... as the devilish Henry ghosted past him and from under his witchity nose, dispatched the ball into the net!! Hells bells!!
The ghoulish Miller completed the scoring for us along with an own goal. The man in black blew his whistle and we cantered off the pitch and into the next round. There we will face Old Bealonians, but be warned; we haven't heard the last from Mr Sharie. Uncanny though it may seem, the next tie is scheduled for what is commonly known as Salvation Saturday.
Be afraid. Be very afraid!
Glenda
Scorers: Atkin 3, Miller, Henry, OG
By Mick Kelly

OLD WOODS SUPER-VETS 2 - 3 Old Finchleians

The valiant Supervets started the season last Sunday 18 October with another unfortunate result – losing 3 – 2 to Old Finchleians Megavets.

 

The game started with Woods struggling to field a full side, with Chris Walton having hung up his boots, injuries to skipper Glenn Martin as well as Ray Langley, Steve Heels, Keith Bailey, work for Richard Westgate, other arrangements for Paddy Campbell, indifference from Dave Williams and Keith Glasscoe (who didn’t even reply to the call), Ian Dale preferring to play with little boys in Macclesfield, plus Andy Edwards forsaking the chance of a game for the company of a younger woman!

 

The highlight was the debut of young Nick Pike, who at 51 showed that he was made for this team – be careful Dermot, you may not get your place back! Dave Goldring again donned the gloves (in the absence of Chris W) and (though I say it myself) made a stunning save low to his right towards the end of the first half, which finished with honours even at 0-0. I had visions of a 0-0 draw at the final whistle, but it was not to be as (with Derek Lamb off the pitch for 15 minutes as we used our one substitute) we conceded 3 goals in that short period, but fought back with another high looping shot (you can't really call it a shot) from Cliff Holding and a shot from the right from substitute Andy Law, to make the final score 3-2.

 

Sterling performances from Tim Ross, gobbling up everything at the back, Dom Drozd, running tirelessly behind front man Cliff, Jon Hann and everyone else, with Andy (“I only want a cameo for 10 minutes”) Smith lasting a full 90 minutes (save a short break as sub), and Gary Payne, who looked exhausted at half time, coming back in the second half and showing no signs of tiredness. Special mention to Andy Law, who came along for second half (despite having to look after ailing parents) and scored.

 

Thanks to all who played and to all who came to watch, including Chris and Derek Northwood, Andy Winton (where are those boots Andy), Mike Schlagman, Darren Hatton, Jo Barron-Cook and others (sorry if I have missed out your name).

 

Team: David Goldring, Gary Payne, Dave Cook, Tim Ross, Derek Lamb, Nick Pike, Jon Hann, Dom Drodz, Andy Smith, Cliff Holding, Andy Law and Martin Murphy (lent to us by Finchleians and who had a fine game).

By Mick Kelly

Fixtures, Results & Tables

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1st XI - A.F.C. Intermediate North
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